The Advice He Wishes He Had

When Austin Cole walked back onto the campus of J Bar J Boys Ranch this winter, it wasn’t as a resident. It was as someone who had once sat in the same chairs as the young men in front of him.

“I know a lot of you guys are like, who is this kid standing up here?” he told them with a grin. “To be honest, I’m just like the rest of you. I sat exactly where you’re sitting for 18 months.”

At 23, Austin returned to J Bar J and J5 not because he was asked, but because he wanted to be there.

“I really wanted to come back and be the voice that I wish I had when I was their age,” he explained later. “If I only inspired change in one person, then everything I did today was worth it.”

Austin’s story is one that many of the young men in the room could recognize.

Growing up, he says he wasn’t a bad kid. He played sports and tried to keep up in school, but behavioral struggles followed him from one classroom to the next. By fourth grade he had already been expelled once. By high school, the cycle of suspensions, bad decisions, and legal trouble had begun.

“I started hanging around kids I thought were cooler than me,” he told the group. “I got around the wrong crowd and started doing really dumb stuff that got me into a lot of trouble.”

The consequences escalated quickly. Austin spent time in juvenile detention 13 times and cycled through multiple programs across Oregon, including J5 and J Bar J Boys Ranch. At one point he had earned zero high school credits.

But while he was in programs, something shifted.

“With the structure here, I started gaining ground,” he said. “I ended up getting 16 credits my junior year and graduating on time  – something nobody thought I could do.”

Standing in front of the young men at the Ranch, Austin spoke openly about the choices that once defined his life and the realization that changed everything.

“Sometimes we think this situation is forever  – like getting in trouble is just who we are,” he told them. “But it’s not like that at all. This is just a very small chapter in a very big book.”

He reminded them that programs like J Bar J exist for a reason.

“These people  – the staff  – they’re here to slow us down just enough so we can get out of our own way,” he said.

After sharing parts of his story, Austin turned the conversation over to the youth, inviting them to ask questions and talk about the challenges they expect to face when they leave the program.

One young man worried about reconnecting with old friends. Another spoke honestly about struggles with drugs. Others talked about family pressures, jobs, and the fear of falling back into the same patterns that led them here.

Austin met each question with honesty and empathy.

“How bad do you want the change?” he asked one youth. “Because that old life will always be there. But change will always be there too.”

Today, Austin says his life looks very different from the one he once imagined.

“I went from being homeless, living on the street, watching people inject meth while I was smoking it,” he said. “Now I’ve got a beautiful wife, my own place, and a good job.”

But for Austin, success isn’t defined by any of those things.

“My version of success,” he told the group, “is being able to come back to a place I swore I’d never come back to  – and talk to you guys.”

Before leaving, he offered one final reminder.

“It’s never too late to grow,” he said. “Not for you. Not for anybody.”

For the young men at J Bar J Boys Ranch that day, the message came from someone who truly understood the road they’re walking  – because he had once walked it himself.

Learn more about J Bar J Youth Services

Learn more about J Bar J Boys Ranch & J5 

A Change of Trajectory

When Patrick moved to Prineville in middle school, he met neighbors who were anything but boring. It’s not uncommon for exceptionally smart youth to become bored and look for interesting outlets to occupy their minds. Faced with this, many kids find constructive pastimes: sports, science, or maybe volunteering. In this case, Patrick found those offered up by his neighbors: selling drugs, stealing, and making pipe bombs.

His family life had been brutal, his stepfather making home a place to avoid. At seventeen he had seven felony convictions and a judge gave him a choice. He could live with a foster family he didn’t like or go to J Bar J Boys Ranch. He chose J Bar J. He was inspired by the Program Manager and the entire staff helped him envision the future he wanted and motivated him to work toward it.

After graduating from the Boys Ranch, he lived with a foster family for a short time. They moved away and left him on his own. He got a job at Izzy’s Pizza and lived in a motel in Bend. Realizing how much of his paycheck went to cover the nightly hotel rate, he saw that he needed more support before becoming self-sufficient. He moved in with his birth father in Portland. Determined to break into a better paying field, he applied at the Benson Hotel. He rode his bike there daily hoping to be hired. On the 58th day of asking for a job, the no finally became a yes.

Patrick went to work and over the following years built his own businesses including a full circle return to Central Oregon with the purchase of Bend Awards and Engraving. He currently owns seven businesses in Oregon and Northern California!

Horses and Healing

J Bar J Boys Ranch and Healing Reins have partnered to enroll youth in their Substance Use Disorder treatment program. Healing Reins’ equine assisted mental health program is a holistic, experiential and highly specialized form of therapy that involves working in collaboration with a horse, a therapist, and an equine specialist. This groundbreaking model is being used globally as a dynamic, powerful tool in mental health therapy. We have long included Equine Assisted Psychotherapy at The Academy at Sisters and are excited about the possibilities for the boys at the ranch.

Adolescents are at a life stage where many prefer doing instead of talking. Trusting and verbalizing about themselves to another person, including their therapist, can be intimidating. This is especially true if they have experienced trauma or have been let down by an adult they trusted in the past. Talking directly about painful memories can be distressing. Animals have a great capacity to build bonds with humans, their presence can calm and relax us.

Equine Assisted Therapy doesn’t rely on language to facilitate communication. The immediate and honest reaction of the horse can help a teen understand a consequence of their own behavior, something that is often hard to perceive in their human relationships. The student-horse relationship can then provide a metaphor to understanding and interpreting the behaviors of people in the student’s life. Because the horse’s response is a consequence of the interaction, the feedback is clear and easy to accept.